Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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