Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
