ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
