When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
