do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize