I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
