DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my shit smells like andre
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
