shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm too high and old for this...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
