Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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