LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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