i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize