I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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