i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Terrible idea I love it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
