well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I love having hate sex.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
