I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
