pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
