I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
