I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
