He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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