Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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