So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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