He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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