Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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