I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
