girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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