So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
