I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
