A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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