Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
