I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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