quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
