i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
