You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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