Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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