i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
soo... how was my night?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
