I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
