Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
