So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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