Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
