O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
