your parents love me but you hate me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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