I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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