Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
