R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
