all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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