i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Randomize
