I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
