Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
