Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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