hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
