Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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