That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm at about main and main street
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
