Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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