Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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